I know that someday you'll find better things.

Monday, February 3, 2014


"You really don't mind if I go to Anthropologie later? Walking among the amazingly beautiful and ridiculously over-priced things armed with only my lackluster self-discipline? Really?"

"Of course I don't mind. You'll walk around the store and say, 'I could make this. I could make that.' Then you'll leave without spending a dime."

He knows me so well.


My latest do-it-myself project could save us $5,000 for a meager investment of $100. Why is Russ so shocked? Maybe because it involves electrical currents and skin.

We've been watching a lot of old seasons of Survivor in the last few months, so I've had tons of time to consider things like million-dollar windfalls and the unusual lack of body hair on most of the contestants. 

Then there's Groupon's ghost, haunting me and taunting me with those skin-deep seductions.

Combined, the two factors have created a force of Jedi strength.

I just can't stop thinking about electrolysis.

That's right, permanent hair removal.

Imagine all the money we would save in razors! (Although to be honest, I don't think we've purchased razors in years-- back when Gillette introduced the Fusion razors that last forever, the coupons and deals for those things were hot and heavy. Despite their retail price of around $10 each, I think we ended up with at least 20 of them for practically pennies.)

Still, shaving is annoying.
Every aspect of it.
I'm not even that hairy.

This usually cold weather is exacerbating my frustration, I think, because whenever I conjure the motivation to do the deed, I usually just shiver it all back the very same day.

While it would be selfish and extravagant of me to indulge in professional help, what if I found a way to do it myself?

(I'm not judging here, folks-- if you've gone pro, that's awesome, and I am supremely jealous. Remember, though, we're a single-income household with four kids. Electricity trumps electrolysis, as Russ would say.)

So, I found a gadget that resembles electrified tweezers on Amazon, and I bought a great big magnified and lighted vanity mirror. At the last minute, I added some unusually expensive lidocaine to the virtual cart. 

Hopefully there's a relationship between the cost and the effectiveness. 

(See? Algebra is everywhere, people!)

The materials are set to arrive Wednesday, which coincides with my first math quiz of the semester. I'm not going to let this new project stand in the way of my responsibilities, though.

Even as I write this, I am trying to develop an equation (probably a function, actually) for body hair per square inch so I can determine just how long this project is going to take.

PS-- Don't expect any pictures or updates for a while. The consensus among reviewers seems to be that you should start with non-visible places until you get the hang of it, and it appears there is a sizable learning curve!

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