tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11348054836501537712024-03-12T21:47:56.979-05:00Better ThingsI know you've got a lot of good things happening up ahead. <br>
The past is gone, it's all been said. <br>
So here's to what the future brings. <br>
I know tomorrow you'll find better things. <br>
-Ray Davies
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger221125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-19683354229074344332017-02-05T08:53:00.002-06:002017-02-05T14:15:58.390-06:00Jersey NightFriday evening on the way to church, Mia informed me it was Jersey Night.<br />
I was already self-conscious about my lack of makeup ("It's okay, Mom. I've heard Jesus loves us exactly as we are.") but now <i>this</i>.<br />
<br />
I pictured the entire congregation chewing gum loudly and singing with nasally accents. Clouds of cloying perfume would rise heavenward. I wondered if I'd be able to see the priest over everyone's teased hair.<br />
<br />
It's a very enthusiastic church. Just how far would they take it?<br />
<br />
As it turns out, the attendees seemed too distracted by the impending Super Bowl to get gussied up for Jersey Night. It was sports-team apparell as far as the eye could see. Maybe they all missed the memo, too.<br />
<br />
To that, I say thank God.<br />
<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-46397058269411507122017-01-11T11:46:00.002-06:002017-01-11T11:46:37.186-06:00Sometimes You Win...Yesterday's spelling bee did not go as hoped. An uncharacteristically-glum Mia shared that she was the first kid out, on her very first word.<br />
<br />
The word? Pottery.<br />
"They said I spelled it with two O's," she sighed. "I didn't even hear myself do that."<br />
<br />
"So... pootery?" I couldn't resist asking.<br />
"Yup," she said, and we both giggled.<br />
<br />
"The first one out." She repeated. "<i>The first one</i>."<br />
<br />
"Well, I suppose somebody had to be first," I reminded her. "Actually, I'm kind of glad it was you."<br />
<br />
A look of accusation and mild horror crossed her face, so quickly I explained my reasoning.<br />
<br />
All but one of the kids would experience being "out" eventually, and someone would be "first".<br />
<br />
The spelling bee isn't exactly at the top of our list of goals and priorities, but I'm sure it mattered deeply to several of those other kids in the room.<br />
<br />
Our town is something of a training-ground for hard-core spellers. Those who are committed to competition spend HOURS practicing for WEEKS and MONTHS before the big day. Long ago, we'd made a choice to focus on other things, such as eating dinner, reading together before bed, and of course, watching <i>Gilmore Girls</i>.<br />
<br />
We both knew she could properly spell 'pottery' and most of the other words on that list. Being the first one out didn't change her ability to spell or my pride toward her effort. I knew that despite her disappointment and embarrassment in the moment, she'd accepted the outcome graciously and respectfully, setting a good example to all the future mis-spellers in the room. I knew she had the resilience to manage her emotions and overcome her feelings in a healthy way. I knew this wouldn't devastate her.<br />
<br />
"But I <i>am</i> devastated," she persisted.<br />
"Oh yeah? <i>POOTERY</i>!" I replied.<br />
<br />
Once again, she dissolved into a fit of giggles.<br />
"You're right, I'm over it," she announced.<br />
<br />
And to prove she meant it, she was her usual hyper, cheerful self for the rest of the evening.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-51077466178287909312017-01-10T20:09:00.003-06:002017-01-10T20:15:55.730-06:00HustlerI have nothing against working hard or working fast. Big fan here, I swear.<br />
<br />
'Hustle' has never bothered me when it's been applied to sports, but its usage is becoming more and more prevalent in business circles.<br />
<br />
Hearing it in that context makes me cringe. Hustle in reference to sales sounds shady. Smarmy, even.<br />
<br />
What's next? Fleece expert? Flim-flam master? #CharlatanPride?<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp034q1NGUv3yqWjA-HnIHFJtBIHDh7mYW-DG-4TmPKCQQcM_Ur9rkigU5pwHh3Iq-9ZqDAmhA4PsrlFzzkWL_lICUO5YulgYRJhyxUkBfaQ-WqOdeE3IHzaGfZK_9yc9vk06VT03vymxz/s1600/14-Id-rather-hustle-24-7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp034q1NGUv3yqWjA-HnIHFJtBIHDh7mYW-DG-4TmPKCQQcM_Ur9rkigU5pwHh3Iq-9ZqDAmhA4PsrlFzzkWL_lICUO5YulgYRJhyxUkBfaQ-WqOdeE3IHzaGfZK_9yc9vk06VT03vymxz/s320/14-Id-rather-hustle-24-7.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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(Do these make anyone else feel oogey?)</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-81150388983728920242017-01-09T18:26:00.001-06:002017-01-09T18:26:23.330-06:00Dream Big*<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEX887fZ5j-d1MXyKLaI8ibeiOdueZaGgFjCfi3oo0XDBflEJvwN7Ahje5-A0L15-6x0X42xjVGm8lRhJ5KITd5qCwaNN9Uq5OKeoMpwPohLCR4K86VhdQfZ5rxxJbsPuLUBO_WCS4ghJM/s1600/dream-control-expectations.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEX887fZ5j-d1MXyKLaI8ibeiOdueZaGgFjCfi3oo0XDBflEJvwN7Ahje5-A0L15-6x0X42xjVGm8lRhJ5KITd5qCwaNN9Uq5OKeoMpwPohLCR4K86VhdQfZ5rxxJbsPuLUBO_WCS4ghJM/s320/dream-control-expectations.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
For the same reason that children in remotest nether regions of Africa have never experienced what it's like to crave pizza the way you and I would, we cannot simply tell our children "Dream big!" and "You can be anything you want when you grow up!"<br />
<br />
Before they can hunger for it, they need to be aware of its existence.<br />
<br />
If we want them to be goal setters, we have to give them an opportunity to visualize goals worth setting, so they can see what they're striving toward.<br />
<br />
We can't fault future generations for lacking ambition if we haven't properly exposed them to the possibilities.<br />
<br />
There's room for improvement. I can do a better job and so can you.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-91182328791600552262017-01-08T17:33:00.004-06:002017-01-08T19:51:30.112-06:00Cupcake WarCupcake-baking has become more challenging than it once was. I know this because one time I saw a part of a TV show about the challenges of cupcakes. I'm pretty sure it even had 'challenge' in the title.<br />
<br />
To be fair, I am somewhat of a cupcake novice. I only began eating cupcakes last spring after a friend introduced me to Sprinkles, but I've been around people who have made cupcakes before so it seemed like a reasonably achieveable Sunday afternoon activity.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4-QhAlEBK7qprSnBbujBKSNcUlrJpbXlJUk-FWXeJS1vNW4C74jwE0XpuH2iynSlhTXW9swqXVDPCBYRwBCphhufMk8d8NqcfQD9-0ZO3eNU0hRmhfStqBB3C2mKVPe2mFXIuuT0v0N0W/s1600/20170108_172455-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4-QhAlEBK7qprSnBbujBKSNcUlrJpbXlJUk-FWXeJS1vNW4C74jwE0XpuH2iynSlhTXW9swqXVDPCBYRwBCphhufMk8d8NqcfQD9-0ZO3eNU0hRmhfStqBB3C2mKVPe2mFXIuuT0v0N0W/s320/20170108_172455-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Before I started, I researched the procedure because there was a good chance that the directions on the box were untrustworthy. Directions on packaging are notoriously untrustworthy, and anyway, I've heard there are different little tips and tricks that can be used to improve a box-mix experience.<br />
<br />
Satisfied by what I'd learned and feeling pretty dang confident, I set out the ingredients and tools and got started. There were a lot of tips out there, and I intended to use them all. These would be the best cupcakes in history.<br />
<br />
First, I replaced the 1-and-1/4 cups of water with buttermilk.<br />
<br />
Next, I added two tablespoons of vanilla pudding mix.<br />
<br />
Then, I tried to combine it, but the stuff simply would not become batter. It was thick and uncooperative, like soggy cookie dough, and it did not go willingly into the cupcake papers.<br />
<br />
There were supposed to be 24 of them, but I gave up at 17. Redistributing was out of the question. I'd have to take my chances.<br />
<br />
Patting the bottoms to remove air bubbles? Forget it. The little chocolate-colored mounds were like drop-biscuits in a NASA test-kitchen-- they were determined to defy gravity.<br />
<br />
Frustrated, I shoved them in the oven and set the timer.<br />
<br />
As I began to wash the dishes, I made the mistake of licking my finger, and it did not taste good AT ALL. How anything edible could simultaneously taste like silly-putty, sand, and sour cream confounds me, but I hoped the baking process would iron that detail out.<br />
<br />
After precisely 19 minutes, I removed them so that I could use the tooth-pick trick to check their completion. Some-- but not all-- had puffed up significantly, and this created more confusion.<br />
<br />
What does "clean" mean? Zero discoloration? Zero tiny crumbles sticking to the wood? The tip-makers need to be more specific or not say anything at all.<br />
<br />
I don't even want to tell you how many toothpicks were wasted while trying to untangle this mystery. Some seemed "clean" but others seemed like they were still wet.<br />
<br />
Was I supposed to remove the "done" ones and return the others to the oven? What would happen if you over-cooked a cupcake (or in this case, half the cupcakes?)<br />
<br />
They all went back in for another 3 minutes, and then I took them back out and poked them all again. Trust me when I say the toothpick heap could be kindling for someone's next campfire. Not mine, of course. If I can't master cupcakes, I should not be trusted near open flames.<br />
<br />
So, 17 of the most lop-sided, ugly, twice-poked cupcakes the world has ever seen are currently being allowed to "cool completely before frosting". Who are we kidding? I'm not going to waste perfectly good frosting on these franken-cakes.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1lgtxJAC-ArT6b_KCvU1LrGEZlnBeD4JZcW8k5VzbmJ9dq9QmUndVEHCO8cQVno6dLWsdyjBs9oOBBXJRD7LZvS3NJzuSFWyTUTjg7N6Iunm95cZGRPxes6rN98fRCuBbTeVInmkqRtnq/s1600/20170108_172657.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1lgtxJAC-ArT6b_KCvU1LrGEZlnBeD4JZcW8k5VzbmJ9dq9QmUndVEHCO8cQVno6dLWsdyjBs9oOBBXJRD7LZvS3NJzuSFWyTUTjg7N6Iunm95cZGRPxes6rN98fRCuBbTeVInmkqRtnq/s320/20170108_172657.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, I'm supposed to "store loosely covered". What does that even mean?!<br />
<br />
It's no wonder Sprinkles charges $4 per cupcake. Making cupcakes is a serious challenge.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-13947895146926226202017-01-07T21:03:00.001-06:002017-01-07T21:15:24.530-06:00Can't Take the Heat<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOf1Wm1nnpuEzDE_VcM4fajPTqe_fOPdBfrRGaLQM34MoOLmI4mePldALZZK6K2zold4qAQoK7R_kAYrkg97tmsugm6C5xSbPoVvHkH9qdazIr1reHGl3DcyGnapysAU05xfc6Q2-n9r7P/s1600/20170107_184546.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOf1Wm1nnpuEzDE_VcM4fajPTqe_fOPdBfrRGaLQM34MoOLmI4mePldALZZK6K2zold4qAQoK7R_kAYrkg97tmsugm6C5xSbPoVvHkH9qdazIr1reHGl3DcyGnapysAU05xfc6Q2-n9r7P/s320/20170107_184546.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
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<br />
First, last, and only time I'll support this redundancy.<br />
<br />
Shame. The salsa is quite good. Very hot, but extremely tasty.<br />
And familiar, somehow.<br />
<br />
Ergo, the motto is redundant AND inaccurate.<br />
Double shame, since the disclaimer is necessary.<br />
<br />
In other news, it was ten degrees this morning and I have proof.<br />
<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-70978374240386290472017-01-06T19:22:00.003-06:002017-01-07T21:12:59.678-06:00Life, LLCThe thing about living independently is that you're the only one who can do the brave things.<br />
<br />
Solemnly, I told this to Mia.<br />
<br />
Our eyes met as we realized that eventually, one (or likely both) of us would have to kill a bug or spider or both.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-45728452392615777822017-01-05T19:47:00.001-06:002017-01-05T19:47:14.742-06:00Handy Winter AdviceIf you are an enthusiastic hand-washer, you may find yourself with painful, red, chapped hands in the winter.<br />
<br />
But... if you are an enthusiastic hand-washer, you are probably an over-zealous summertime sunscreen-buyer, too.<br />
<br />
Leftover "sport" sunscreens make great winter hand-lotions. The water-resistant element creates a barrier between your skin and the hand-washing/hand-drying process.<br />
<br />
I've found that if I remember to put sunscreen on my hands in the morning, it will usually lock in the moisture for most of the day. (And I wash my hands a LOT.)<br />
<br />
PS- Try to remember not to touch your face or mouth, or you'll be tasting it all day, too. If it keeps happening to you, change brands of sunscreen until you find one that doesn't taste terrible.<br />
Banana Boat? Awful.<br />
Aveeno? Not too bad.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-84521306884106454212017-01-04T18:19:00.003-06:002017-01-04T18:19:59.348-06:00The Epitome"Mom, what's an epp-<br />
epee-tum... eppi-toam?"<br />
"Eh-pit-uh-mee," I told her, "means perfect example of something. As you can see," I gestured grandly, "your mother is the epitome of fashion and coolness for 2017."<br />
<br />
In retrospect, I probably should've taken a picture of the look on her face instead.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-9289424788191224082017-01-03T20:47:00.002-06:002017-01-03T20:58:57.802-06:00God and Other UnmentionablesEver since the <a href="http://betterthingstomorrow.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-ark.html" target="_blank">Ark Incident of 2013</a>, I've been a little mum's-the-word about Our Heavenly Father. However, our new livin'-on-a-prayer lifestyle will require a serious increase in our spirituality.<br />
<br />
There was no casual, nonchalant way to broach the subject, so a few days ago, I chose to utilize the Out of the Blue Method that Mia herself is ever so fond of.<br />
<br />
"So, um, hey... what do you know about God?" I asked her.<br />
"Well... He lives... above us... and actually, there's several of Him..."<br />
<br />
<i>Holy Trinity, Batman! </i><br />
<i>My child is a religious prodigy. I'm not a failure. We're not doomed!</i><br />
<br />
"... Zeus, he's the main one... but there are lots more..." she said.<br />
<br />
My time aboard cloud nine ended abruptly. She continued listing notable nobility from Greek mythology while I tried to regain my composure. It was hard not to picture both of our souls careening toward an afterlife in the hot place down under.<br />
<br />
"Australia?"<br />
"No, not Australia, although from what I've heard, it's debatable. Mia," I said, mustering all my chutzpah, "it's time for The Talk."<br />
<br />
After about twenty uncomfortable minutes of me reciting as much as I could remember from the Bible, Mia said, "You know what all this reminds me of? Those Veggie Tales shows."<br />
<br />
<i>Hallelujah!</i><br />
<i>I was saved.</i><br />
<br />
We've been watching several episodes each night ever since. We're also going to be finding a church. Possibly several churches. Enough to undo the damage from our recent discussion and alllllll the years of silence, but not so many that we become zealots, because as I recall mentioning <i>several</i> times during The Talk, <i>'God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.'</i><br />
<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-37696886825056809542017-01-02T20:28:00.000-06:002017-01-02T20:28:25.116-06:00Light Housekeeping<i>"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."</i><br />
<br />
Oh, that Zsa Zsa Gabor. What a wise-acre. Always making light of even the most heavy-hearted of situations.<br />
<br />
Keeping this house has been a bittersweet blessing. Moving would have meant separating Mia from two favorite things-- the playset in the yard and the newly-acquired piano. We're not especially materialistic, but the loss of a step-dad, siblings, and a beloved dog was the maximum a fourth-grader should have to cope with, I decided.<br />
<br />
So, here we remain.<br />
<br />
It's too big for two people, which became extra-evident after the departure of half the furnishings. That is not to say it is empty. Some artful rearranging proved that even with only half of what the house once held, we still have way more possessions than we need.<br />
<br />
In true less-is-more form, voids have been filled with abundance. Less fighting has made way for more loving conversations. Less chaos has opened the door to more peace.<br />
<br />
Housekeeping is a tremendous responsibility, but I am grateful for the chance to keep the bit of familiarity for my girl. Grateful and striving toward excellence.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-24646935788808325612017-01-01T21:11:00.001-06:002017-01-01T21:11:15.286-06:00Cheaper Than TherapyIt's the first day of 2017, and now more than ever, we need to believe that better things are on the way.<br />
<br />
It's a beautiful time to return to writing.<br />
Besides, it's cheaper than therapy.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPvklmZGqjZRQtqlfQX1kR7NPNOViPaIsScPq1v7SOGfZDiWiCC_FKlGN3TNjHlI96I9IphrFJ4om4QupsUhZ-MYoNRt0XUpiLVFbxXHqeNiTAtG4aWy3UPJS5VSuJ2EbzWkHnkSZMQq4M/s1600/65e6822839dd0c06087b04e1969a4d3e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPvklmZGqjZRQtqlfQX1kR7NPNOViPaIsScPq1v7SOGfZDiWiCC_FKlGN3TNjHlI96I9IphrFJ4om4QupsUhZ-MYoNRt0XUpiLVFbxXHqeNiTAtG4aWy3UPJS5VSuJ2EbzWkHnkSZMQq4M/s1600/65e6822839dd0c06087b04e1969a4d3e.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-42690839428845992272016-05-26T22:53:00.006-05:002016-05-26T23:18:09.152-05:00Huckleberry<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2CgqTrBlPqR-PmgSzWo1TVoiQMhNq98n5w_WZ55F3G3ID9dtE1x6pifCEVkF39Y0Y20Z9U-sbaFd2o1EZ6da391ktA6V1jBMTNNYg7W6P5Ot3G73FKNGl44crvGEQdyK4RwgHLkYiHOeD/s1600/huckleberry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2CgqTrBlPqR-PmgSzWo1TVoiQMhNq98n5w_WZ55F3G3ID9dtE1x6pifCEVkF39Y0Y20Z9U-sbaFd2o1EZ6da391ktA6V1jBMTNNYg7W6P5Ot3G73FKNGl44crvGEQdyK4RwgHLkYiHOeD/s1600/huckleberry.jpg" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Since most people do not have the opportunity to attend eight funerals simultaneously or slay 41 watermelons in under 30 minutes, especially on the same day, I feel it is important to share with you some of today's events. Most people would call today Thursday, but for me, it was Huckleberry-day: I had a unique opportunity to be in the right place at the right time to do the things that needed to be done.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">***</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As Russ brushed his teeth before bed, I told him </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">about what I’d just learned: eight veterans were being interred the following day at our national cemetery and not a single one of them had any known family members.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Let that sink in for a moment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">At some point, each one of these veterans had been someone’s newborn baby. Someone’s toddler. Someone’s teenager. Perhaps they’d been someone’s brother or sister. Maybe they’d been someone’s spouse. Perhaps they’d been someone’s parent. Surely they’d been someone’s friend.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">And now they had no one. No one to show up and show their respect.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Obviously, I had to attend. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After all, all lives matter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">“They served our country. They defended and protected our freedom,” I told Russ. “It’s the least I can do.” </span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i> 'it’s the least I can do</i></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">,' I saw Russ’s mouth twitch a little at the side.</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I know what you’re thinking, and I can honestly say this not even </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>remotely</i></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> similar to the butter incident.” I said, surprising myself with how defensive my tone sounded.</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Years ago-- no, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>eons</i></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> ago-- I’d gone through a phase of what Russ had fondly nicknamed ‘frontier fortitude’ where I’d felt a deep sense of responsibility to pay my respect to the pioneers of the past by performing certain basic tasks, like churning my own butter. It seemed like the least I could do, considering how many other modern conveniences inundated our lives.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">It did not go well.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Finally I just put the cream and the salt in the blender and hoped for the best. Even then, it was still pretty awful.</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But this was </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>different</i></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We both knew I’d be attending those funerals. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was just giving him a heads up to be polite.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are not very many cemeteries in our area of North Texas, so I was hoping it was the one I was already familiar with. It was not. It was much, much farther away-- but I did not mind. Those veterans served our country. It was the least I could do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Passing through the entrance gates was like a portal to Arlington, Virginia itself. The place is huge, and it looks just like the pictures of every military cemetery you’ve ever seen. Rolling hills, trees, and thousands of rows of short, skinny headstones, lined up as straight and attentive as soldiers themselves.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because I arrived early, I parked near the information center and sat in the car, listening to the thunder, watching the lightning flash across the sky, and waiting to see what would happen next.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Meanwhile, I tried to learn as much as I could about my surroundings. This particular cemetery has been open for burials since May 12, 2000.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">The VA National Cemetery Administration </span><a href="http://www.cem.va.gov/cems/nchp/dallasftworth.asp" style="font-family: arial; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;" target="_blank">website</a><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"> provided more details:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #2e2e2e; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 13.3333px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #2e2e2e; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 13.3333px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Currently, more than 1.5 million veterans live in the state of Texas and approximately 460,000 reside in the cemetery's service area. The Dallas-Fort Worth National Cemetery has developed 152 acres of the 638-acre cemetery providing 41,102 casketed sites and 18,121 columbaria/garden niches for cremated remains. Fully developed, Dallas-Fort Worth National Cemetery will provide burial space for 280,000 eligible veterans and dependents.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">All those headstones… just since May 12, 2000? </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My stomach flip-flopped. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">As someone who grew up in a small town with most of the headstones starting with 16- - , 17- - , and 18 - -, the fact that nearly 8 times my hometown’s population was currently buried here just since May 12, 2000 was unfathomable.</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And none of them knew they’d be buried here. Not </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>really</i></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">(My own burial plot was purchased shortly before my fifth birthday. You really have to plan ahead in New England, and besides, my mother says she can’t get quality sleep unless she knows <b>exactly</b> where I am. Can’t make this stuff up, folks.)</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The people we were here to honor today certainly didn’t plan to be buried here. Still, t</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">he service was every bit as official as you’d expect. Taps played slowly on a real bugle, flags folded expertly by a fleet of impeccably dressed soldiers. Prayers.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">As far as I could tell, there were only two main differences:</span></div>
<ol style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>The “personal” part took less than five minutes.</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Literally all that was known about these soldiers were their names, dates of birth, years of service, and dates of death.</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>The audience.</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I’m not sure how many people were there. Twenty? Fifty? What is important to know is this: not one single person there actually knew the deceased.</span></div>
</li>
</ol>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Here’s where things get interesting. Although the audience did not know the deceased, most of them </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>did</i></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> know each other. About a third of them seemed to be members of some sort of Harley Davidson club, another third seemed to be military-esque. The remaining third were the independents, like me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">After the names had been read and the final prayer was said, the “officiant” (I sincerely don’t know a better word) shared some final thoughts, which in my opinion were the absolute best part of the whole event.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">He introduced himself and explained that he and his team had been invited to officiate this service by the cemetery administration. His team (and here, he gestured broadly) were not here because they were bikers or vets, but because they were patriots. The organization is called the North Texas </span><a href="https://www.patriotguard.org/content.php?s=8c2ba7197c57c4329853817a6ae80f79" style="font-family: arial; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;" target="_blank">Patriot Guard Riders</a><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and what we witnessed today was what they do.</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Everyday</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span></div>
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<div style="line-height: 1.38;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sometimes multiple times per day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 20.24px; white-space: pre-wrap;">T</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">o be a member, you must do only two things: show up and show your respect.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Their mission is to honor the deceased and their families by creating and documenting a proper burial service. Then, they (and I’m not sure who “they” are in this case-- the organization? The VA?) have genealogists working tirelessly in search of the next of kin. When the families are located, the organization provides the flag, a video of the service, photos, even a weather report-- details to help the families create a mental movie. Details that will hopefully provide the same kind of closure that might have occurred if they’d had the opportunity to physically be there.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">On their website, I learned that another role they fulfill is to peacefully shield against protesters and outbursts in controversial situations. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ultimately I’m glad I attended today, and I’m grateful to know there is an organization out there who cares so deeply and shares my same need to show up and show respect. I'm fairly certain that my path will cross with theirs again in the future. </span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Also, I think the world needs more Huckleberries </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>(and less watermelon... don't even get me started on that fiasco!)</i></span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-64745920722279545822015-08-06T11:00:00.002-05:002015-08-06T11:10:38.242-05:00Of Mice and Meth<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I'd say it's a bargain at twice the price," proclaimed Russ about his deal of the day. It really was. The toaster oven from the neighborhood CVS pharmacy was on clearance for $7.50.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Toaster ovens have been a source of intrigue for years, but I refused to pay those towering Amazon prices. And the Goodwill ones, well, those were just oogey.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"It's odd that you wouldn't consider the options at Goodwill," Russ mused. "You've bought other household stuff there without a problem."</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"<i>Lamps</i>, Russ. I've bought <i>lamps</i>. At no point would the lamp touch anything I intended to put on my tongue."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">His surrender was swift. "I guess that makes sense," he said. "Especially since the original owners could've cooked all kinds of awful things in it."</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Awful things," I concurred. "Gluten-y things."</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Or mice," I added.<br />"Or meth," he said at the exact same time.<br />"Mice?" he chided.<br />"Meth?" I scoffed.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes he is <i>so</i> impractical.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-800098827418857102015-04-02T23:17:00.001-05:002015-04-03T00:18:26.762-05:00Back to the Future<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The writing prompt seemed fairly straight-forward, as usual.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Write about something you'd do differently if you could go back in time.</span></i></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hmm. A deep one. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So many mistakes, so little time. How could anyone name just one?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I turned the page in her homework journal, eager to see if her regret would be consistent with my prediction. The time she and Caleb wandered off down the beach at night and nearly gave us a heart attack was <i>surely</i> a worthy event for this assignment.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I wouldn't change anything because I like who I am and I'm okay with what I've done."</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A good mom would have let it go. A good mom would have celebrated her second-grade daughter's cavalier perspective. But the night those two rascals got lost clearly hadn't chiseled a lasting lesson in her the way it had on me. I had a responsibility to hammer out a little bit of guilt, right?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's the <i>least</i> a mediocre mom could do.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"That's very... confident... of you, which I do admire... but I think your teacher was hoping you'd write something more... reflective."</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Silence. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rare, as you've probably guessed.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You know," she said slowly, thoughtfully, "I suppose there <i>are</i> a few things I could change." Hallelujah. The kid had a conscience after all. I closed my eyes and waited for the sweet sounds of confession.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"The Civil War, for starters. And while I was back there, maybe I could be president and sort out all of Martin Luther King Jr.'s racism problems so that he wouldn't die."</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This was certainly an unexpected twist of events.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"That's not really what I was trying--" Okay, I'd tried to squish her over-confidence once. Could I really attempt to do it again and still maintain a modicum of self-respect? I did the only thing a marginal mom could do and admitted my defeat in the form of an exasperated sigh. "Nevermind. That's fine. Go ahead and write that down."</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I treated myself to my own little guilt trip while I watched her grip that pencil and...</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not write.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not erase.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not do much of anything. For at least two minutes. Maybe longer.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Had I broken her? Yes. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All I'd wanted was a little bit of humility, and I'd gone and damaged the kid.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dadgumit, if only I could go back in time.</span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I couldn't take it anymore. "Why aren't you writing anything?"</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Well, I just can't do it, Mommy. I'm sorry, but this homework is asking me to think about altering the space-time continuum, and I've <i>always</i> been taught that you should never, ever mess with the space-time continuum. We wouldn't be who we are today if everyone could just go back and do things differently..."</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can tell you one thing that regularly defies the space-time continuum without remorse, and that is <b>karma</b>. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm pretty sure I was being punished for my confidence-squishing from the moment this homework was assigned.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-6998984102998966872015-03-04T10:37:00.000-06:002015-04-03T00:25:47.984-05:00Snooze Angel<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just because it didn't make it into the Bill of Rights doesn't make it any less inalienable than life or liberty. When it's cold and rainy, hitting the snooze button definitely counts toward pursuing the American Dream.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nine minutes can quickly become 27 minutes or even more if you accidentally turn off the alarm altogether, which is apparently what every member of my household did this morning.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Except for the one person who doesn't have an alarm clock.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, my eight-year-old woke up on time, made herself breakfast, got herself dressed, roused the rest of the family, packed her backpack, made the lunches for the entire clan, brushed her teeth, combed her hair, donned a coat, and was ready and waiting by the door at 7:15.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can attest to this, because that was the precise minute when I yanked on a shirt, raced down the stairs, uttered several apologies, mumbled a few profanities, apologized again, and observed the state of the situation from my state of panic.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"It's okay, Mom," she said cheerfully. "I took care of it."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And, in fact, she had. She <i>really</i> had.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was shocked, and impressed, and very grateful, and I told her so as I gave her a huge hug.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"No problem," she said. Then, as gentle and loving as can be, she put her hand on my arm, gazed up into my eyes, and said,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Mommy? Try to put some pants on today, okay?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I probably would have anyway, but I especially did so in her honor.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-80082298925791573542015-03-03T19:33:00.001-06:002015-03-04T09:53:41.552-06:00The Case of The Great Googler<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When the phone rang on Sunday morning, I answered it. Major progress, if you know me.</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was immediately rewarded for my courage.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Is this Courtney Robinson, the real estate agent?"</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Showtime!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Why, yes, it is. How may I help you?" I sat up a little straighter and reached for my notebook and pen.</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I have your box. They delivered it to me, even though I don't live at your address." Then she rattled off the address on the box, and her own address, and the one on the box again, to emphasize that they were not identical. Both addresses were located in the city to the north of mine.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This was not at all how I'd anticipated the conversation would go, so </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I paused to swallow and collect my thoughts. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Too long, apparently, because the voice on the other end continued.</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"So, when can you pick it up?"</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Was this a test? A trap? Did I need to reveal more information? Did I need to obtain more information? <b>No</b>. No, I did not. This could be shut down efficiently in two sentences--<i>ten seconds, max!</i>--and I could reclaim my Sunday morning.</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"It's very considerate of you to call, but I'm afraid you've reached the wrong Courtney Robinson. It sounds like the box was meant for a different Courtney Robinson."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"No, it's for you."</span><br />
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></i>
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hmm... this was going to be a tough nut to crack.</i><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I'm truly sorry, and I applaud your dedication, but--"</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Is this Courtney Robinson?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Yes, but--"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"And are you a real estate agent?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Well, yes, but--"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"And do you have blonde hair? Because I am looking at your picture right now."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wait, <i>what?! </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"My picture is on your box?" I was genuinely surprised by this turn of events.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"It is <i>your</i> box," she grumbled, "whether or not you are willing to admit it."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She was interrupted by the sound of barking.</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I suppose I could have hung up while she disciplined the dog(s?), but I got the distinct impression that she'd keep calling me until this was resolved.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We needed a direction. Enough was enough. Time to take the wheel.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Perhaps it would be best to notify the post office or the shipping company, so they can deliver the box to the correct address," I offered hopefully.</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Well, what good will that do? You said you don't live there. Don't you want your box? Why don't you want your box? Why would you order a box if you didn't want it?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I began looking around my bedroom for a hidden camera, because conversations like this do not happen in real life.</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"The box doesn't belong to me. It is for a different Courtney Robinson. One who probably lives at that address. And who <i>definitely</i> wants the box," I added.</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Another Courtney Robinson? That's just ridiculous. Another Courtney Robinson. Look here. I put your name in The Google and you popped right up. <i>You</i>. The real estate agent."</span></div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222;">Luckily the Hounds of Heck interjected again. I thought hard, and when she returned, I was ready with a new approach.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"So, how about this weather we're having? Pretty crazy, eh?" </span><i style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Which was true. And when it's crazy, it's a very popular conversation topic. A real crowd-pleaser. Had to keep the momentum going-- </i><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Say, since it is so cold and icy out, perhaps you could contact the post office to pick up the box to deliver it to me. Or better yet, just write 'Return to Sender' on it and set it outside, okay? It'll be fine. Trust me, I do it all the time." <i>Time for the big finish.</i> "And thank you. Thank you so much for helping me to get my box. I'm sorry for being so difficult earlier. I must have been confused."</span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And</span><i style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> that </i><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">was</span><i style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> that.</i><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Total extraction time: 12 minutes and 57 seconds. A gracious exit with everyone's dignity intact.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">know what you're probably thinking, but it was </span><i style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">not</i><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> time wasted. Someday she might need a real estate agent, and she definitely knows how to find me.</span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thank goodness for The Google.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-60749841464621218452015-02-13T16:30:00.000-06:002015-02-13T17:10:15.253-06:00Frequent Flyers<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>1. Always keep a few bottles of Gatorade in your bag. </i></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>2. Don't zig-zag across the street, or else you'll tire yourself out.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These are two essential tips I learned today from a professional flyer-delivery person. Yup, it is his profession, and judging by his dazzling-white smile, it must pay enough to support frequent and thorough professional dental care.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our paths crossed shortly after my 250th flyer and my three-hour mark.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There was a little confusion at first because he thought<i> I</i> was a <i>professional</i> flyer-delivery person, too.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>As if.</i></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If I was darn near ready to collapse from exhaustion after three hours, I doubt I could do it for consecutive days and consecutive weeks.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't know if I did the math right, but three hours at a conservative estimated walking speed of 3.0 miles an hour might be NINE miles. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Without ever leaving my own neighborhood. Without ever straying more than a mile from my own doorstep.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And there are still 350 flyers to be delivered. I don't even want to think about <i>that</i> math.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, my new flyer-buddy must have sensed my frustration, because in his entrepreneurial wisdom, he suggested that perhaps I hire him for future deliveries.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He charges $30 for the door-to-door delivery of 600 flyers. He's very trustworthy, he says. ("I text you at the end of every street, and I never throw your flyers in the trash.")</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fair enough.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In fact, that's a bargain. I'd probably pay $30 to avoid ever walking an extended period of time again, even if flyers had nothing to do with it. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If this reminds you about my plan to hike the 2,179-mile Appalachian Trail back in 2004 with my soon-to-be ex-husband, I urge you to hold your tongue. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because this is 2015, and I am no longer a spring chicken. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In fact, if you said, "Hey, you can either walk a marathon or pay me $30," I'd drive to the nearest ATM and give you $40, right then and there.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Walking. Hmph. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's so <i>pedestrian</i>. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Sorry, couldn't resist.)</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Besides, who am I to horn in on this guy's turf? He's the professional. The neighborhood shouldn't have to suffer an amateur like me. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think we can all agree that everyone will be better off if I hire him to make my future deliveries.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-2072841144837769682014-12-30T23:24:00.001-06:002014-12-30T23:35:50.660-06:00Better Luck Next Year<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Maybe we should learn a little more about Chinese decorations before we go in there, so we don't accidentally buy any bad-luck ones," I suggested to my family as we pulled into the parking lot of an Asian market.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Stores don't sell bad luck ones," Russ reasoned. "It would be bad for business. Why would anyone <i>ever</i> want to buy bad-luck ones?"</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And that is how we accidentally bought the supplies to deck the halls for a Chinese funeral.</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">***</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The decorations we purchased-- the oh-so-many decorations-- are <i>beyond</i> creepy. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What we thought was a colorfully festive tablecloth turned out to be a large paper envelope containing an elaborate symbolic burial ensemble. Shoes. Pants. Tunic. Two tunics, actually. And a particularly peculiar watch made of aluminum foil.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Quite a value for $1.49.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's more. Lots more. I don't even want to tell you what else, because by midnight, it will all be ashes anyway.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">T</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">hat's the protocol for these items, apparently. You buy them at the supermarket, and then you bring them home and set them on fire. Deliberately and respectfully, according to the Internet. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's okay. To be honest, our Chinese-themed New Year's Eve party was already somewhat cursed. The bahn mi dinner we've planned is Vietnamese, the origami we'll fold is Japanese, and not a single moon cake or fortune cookie could be found in any of the three Asian markets we visited.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So it's a good thing we saved the wrapping paper from Christmas, because we'll need to use it as kindling for our newest party activity: the backyard bonfire.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At 11:59, we'll pay our last respects to 2014-- the joys, the sorrows-- and we'll strike a match to our little suburban pyre.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All of the year's stress will be consumed by the light and the heat; the new year will emerge, clean and innocent and eager to be filled with new joys and new sorrows.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">New opportunities for those oddball impulse-purchases that shape our family's lasting memories.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No matter how you spent your 2014 or how you'll welcome your 2015, I'd like to invite you to release the memories you're ready to part with out into this night.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's to better luck next year.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW70cMWVkgDNbLqj-wHi5detrepAXiPp4J24Sz1WcbtCVj9BrAKbveICHSq0m_q46nTvBouBfZ2wMCLqtH3S-vYUcjTwjA4IO9w1B9qFn4Bousg2xvHgnCz5-0GNWS7onqzuAgS1sN1nSd/s1600/20141230_224825.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW70cMWVkgDNbLqj-wHi5detrepAXiPp4J24Sz1WcbtCVj9BrAKbveICHSq0m_q46nTvBouBfZ2wMCLqtH3S-vYUcjTwjA4IO9w1B9qFn4Bousg2xvHgnCz5-0GNWS7onqzuAgS1sN1nSd/s1600/20141230_224825.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Time flies. <i>This</i> time will fly into the night, and that's a good thing.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-19298780841270240712014-09-12T08:01:00.000-05:002014-09-12T08:02:27.511-05:00Net-Neutrality<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"So, several of the big streaming companies were displaying the 'wheel of death' today to show their support toward concept of equal-opportunity internet speed," Russ said at dinner on Wednesday, following our nightly round of Roses and Thorns.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Oh," said Hannah, who didn't really care.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Hmm," I said, because I wasn't really listening.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Yes, the Net Neutrality protests," said Mia.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We all turned to her, mouths agape.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I'm not a lump, you know," she said. "I do try to keep up with the news."</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-778191250362336822014-08-26T12:39:00.000-05:002014-08-26T19:37:41.155-05:00They Didn't #SingForNicole<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Today's the day, Mom! Do you think they'll change around the words to really make it the story of Nicole's life?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For a seven-year-old, Mia had been unusually consumed with the idea of the band One Direction acknowledging the passing of my former student Nicole at their Dallas concert.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"That's not usually how it works, Honey. Usually they'll say, 'This next song is dedicated to memory of one of our biggest fans' and then everyone cheers and the band sings, and the audience sings, and everyone's hearts are bursting with emotion."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was a total mommy bluff. I don't really know how it is supposed to work, but my version seemed more logical. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It turns out that neither of our notions came to fruition.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One Direction did not #singfornicole.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">***</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In May, shortly after Nicole's passing, her sister Kelly posted a message on twitter to the band.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Friends, friends-of-friends, and even strangers were touched by Kelly's message and the story of Nicole's life, and within hours, her message went viral. Social media was flooded with the positive energy of #singfornicole.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAidSgC97lmvy4a5nZclwzvu7BYZqlbQ7Usb7O1BcZ5560XRnn0d6WmtcZnsQGgXOc6A5asZcH478vNILWssBViY9MbNOFmKnm6u1iZmsy7SETInMqgIesJ7wR-0A6couZe3BFK8zv4FXA/s1600/blog+nicole.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAidSgC97lmvy4a5nZclwzvu7BYZqlbQ7Usb7O1BcZ5560XRnn0d6WmtcZnsQGgXOc6A5asZcH478vNILWssBViY9MbNOFmKnm6u1iZmsy7SETInMqgIesJ7wR-0A6couZe3BFK8zv4FXA/s1600/blog+nicole.jpg" height="320" width="195" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nicole was one of my dearest students in my final year of teaching sixth grade before becoming a stay-at-home mom. After learning of her death, nearly every moment of my every day was spent worrying and wondering about how her classmates-- my sweeties-- and Nicole's family were coping with this devastating loss.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Grief, though inevitable and inescapable, never gets easier with practice. Not really. Is it easier when there's a warning, as with a terminal illness? Probably not.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yet the unexpected death of an adolescent seems particularly cruel. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How would they weather this ache? How would they summon the strength to put one foot in front of the other and walk through each future day?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Sing for Nicole" sprouted wings, helping everyone carry those heavy hearts forward. It was a merciful distraction in the finest sense, channeling--no, converting-- pain into purpose-driven productivity.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Awareness of Type 1 diabetes was promoted.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Donations--tens of thousands of dollars, eventually--poured in to help sponsor children to attend Camp Sweeney, a local summer camp for kids with diabetes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The cherry on the sundae, the victory sign, would be an acknowledgement at the concert, which was to be held the night before school started.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can see a brief local news report on youtube here: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzpP_xVMIFI">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzpP_xVMIFI</a></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">***</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I don't understand, Mom. Why didn't the band sing for Nicole at the concert? It doesn't seem like it would have been so very hard."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No, in theory, it doesn't seem like it should have been so very hard, yet there are blurry reasons at the edges of our understanding. How do you explain to a second grader things like "slippery slope" and "setting a precedent" and contracts and legalities which limit the humanity of the humans in the band?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Maybe they're not nice people. Or maybe they didn't know," she hypothesized.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I suspect their niceness had very little to do with the decision, and there's <b>no way </b>they didn't know, but I held my tongue.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">***</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From what I understand, the concert started later than planned.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Monday was the first day of school, and I am certain there were lots of tired ninth graders roaming the halls of their new school, acutely aware of the absence of their old friend.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tired and disappointed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tired and angry.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For months, hope had numbed the grieving process. The wound that had just begun to heal has been torn open again, bleeding the fresh pain of disappointment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>And the song</i>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Up until now, the song has been the auditory equivalent of the butterfly hovering outside the window or the sunbeams streaking a spotlight through the clouds. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hearing the song on the radio was an opportunity to reflect on a beautiful life. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was a sign. A smile from above.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My fear is that those positive feelings might be replaced with betrayal and resentment. I worry that the song will come on the radio, and hands will reach out to change the station or turn it off entirely.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While I don't want to give too much power to the decision-makers who chose to forgo an acknowledgement, I don't think they gave adequate consideration to the potential emotional damage of replacing solace with disappointment. I also think they underestimated just how many people would be impacted by their decision.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For heaven's sake, I'm a 35-year-old suburban housewife and mother who didn't particularly know or care about these One Direction fellows, yet this situation is all I can think about as I move through the day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">***</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It would have been cool if they'd dedicated the song to her, but life's not fair.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At least not down here at eye-level.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At least not what we're capable of seeing and understanding in each present moment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If life were fair, we'd still have our friend-daughter-sister-student.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can't allow the actions of someone (or several someones) who didn't know her tarnish our memories or limit our opportunities to reflect on her spirit.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can choose to separate the decision from the band from the song from the girl.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It can still be Nicole's song.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can be the singers. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can #singfornicole.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-77387487321697145712014-08-26T09:00:00.000-05:002014-08-26T09:00:09.327-05:00First Day Forms<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Could you please sign this?" Hannah asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Sure. What is it?" Russ wasn't being lazy-- he was across the room, and his hands were full.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Possibly the dumbest thing ever. Listen to this: '<i>I will be where I am supposed to be, on time and ready to learn. I will do what is right. If I'm not sure, I will ask.'</i> Seriously? When did this become 'Expectations and Guidelines' material? I thought these behaviors were considered 'norms'."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Guess not, if they had to give you two copies. Speaking of which, do I sign both?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"No, just one. The other stays here at home for us to <i>reflect upon together throughout the year</i>."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can't bust a fourteen-year-old for being disrespectful when she is so freaking astute.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How many trees gave their lives so we could be formally notified in duplicate of our societal norms?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Feather your handbaskets, everbody, and hang on with both hands.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Down, down we go.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-50369661151930486072014-08-19T13:21:00.001-05:002014-08-20T00:46:44.740-05:00Open Enrollment: Plan B<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The magical month is upon us:</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Open enrollment for health insurance with my husband's employer.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My husband is a public school teacher in one of the highest achieving and respected school districts in the great state of Texas. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Texas is a "Right to Work" state, so we don't have unions.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of the areas that this status impacts tremendously is the cost and quality of health insurance.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't think I am violating any confidentiality policies by sharing some of the specifics of the available plans with you, as the same information is accessible to the general public on the school district's main website.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To be clear, what we are about to examine is strictly medical insurance. Dental, vision, disability, and life insurance are all available for additional costs, but today we are just going to look at medical insurance.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are three levels of plans available, and within each, there are four subcategories. I'm going to focus on "Employee and Family". As you can see in the plan premium prices below, the employer graciously contributes $259 toward the total monthly cost.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUHRK0yPqOV6d-svPYs6k8TgF5kqo21FpyiXSkPnXZFzT7yIrYGKvPqVmDGC_qmuiNwDgLHQKP7TgpWC-DBKG3B83Eiq_1MEBjJ6QgHMtkYIBfHLg7eqPtnL6-MnzuSLRTxUKs3um-KSCe/s1600/blog_med001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUHRK0yPqOV6d-svPYs6k8TgF5kqo21FpyiXSkPnXZFzT7yIrYGKvPqVmDGC_qmuiNwDgLHQKP7TgpWC-DBKG3B83Eiq_1MEBjJ6QgHMtkYIBfHLg7eqPtnL6-MnzuSLRTxUKs3um-KSCe/s1600/blog_med001.jpg" height="206" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The three options-- $886/month, $979/month, and $1,064/month-- translate to $10,632/year, $11,748/year, and $12,768/year.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Remember, this is just the monthly premium cost. It doesn't factor in deductibles, copays, or prescriptions.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let's look at this data another way:</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A Texas teacher with 13 years experience earns a respectable $52,000 per year. (This is before taxes, insurance, retirement contribution, etc. Gross, right?)</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">$10,632/year = 20.4% of the annual salary </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">$11,748/year = 22.6% of the annual salary </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">$12,768/year = 24.6% of the annual salary</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's without ever setting foot in the doctor's office. Cross that threshold, and things get hairy. Here are the plan details:</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI1qUMrGBYocXr7wTq7S9qPPxCgtXcIWYZYFg6MaEspliwulinLXTzLy-ixq4lD09eM5QdLlVLuDE-W24t3TtSuF4-IN1fe4fni4UNQ9vS53q1yJ1HIjxEFGrUCpOzfCuSEGjXfzHDMxPn/s1600/blog_med002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI1qUMrGBYocXr7wTq7S9qPPxCgtXcIWYZYFg6MaEspliwulinLXTzLy-ixq4lD09eM5QdLlVLuDE-W24t3TtSuF4-IN1fe4fni4UNQ9vS53q1yJ1HIjxEFGrUCpOzfCuSEGjXfzHDMxPn/s1600/blog_med002.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are very, very lucky to have a healthy family. "Plan A" isn't a good fit for us, because (Oh, God, don't let lightning strike us) we would never, ever reach the deductible to activate the goodies, and we'd REALLY never hit the out-of-pocket maximum. "Plan B" allows a $30 copay for doctor's visits, since even healthy kids succumb to strep, ear infections, and pinkeye throughout the year.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Cost of middle class medical insurance premiums: $11,748/year.</b></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-41869059750177251492014-08-19T12:19:00.001-05:002014-08-19T12:19:11.672-05:00Home Economics and Other Taboo Topics<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Recently I wrote about the annual cost for light-to-medium use and routine maintenance on two paid-off cars. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">$6,022.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This had been quite a shock to me, because while yes, we are all acutely aware of the wallet-squeezing strength of gas prices, I hadn't really considered the other ongoing costs in the vehicle category.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Having no car payments felt akin to free.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's a big difference between "debt-free" and "free".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Measuring Middle Class</span></h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our youngest child, a second grader, will tell you we're rich. Our eldest, a junior in college, will tell you we're dirt poor-- why else would we refuse to buy her a brand new sports car, right? Everybody else in our family is of the belief that we are medium. Middle class, and proud of it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But what does that mean, really? What does middle class look like? There are enough statistics out there to keep your eyeballs and math-brain engaged for a decade, but so much of it speaks in generalities that it's tough to make the translation between paper and reality.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Traditional taboo topics include age, weight, and income. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think household expenses have crept into this category through the years, and I'm starting to realize that if nobody talks about them, we'll never really understand our culture. Our American life. Our American dream.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With my husband's blessing, I'm going to put it all out there and show the world what our middle class is made of. My hope is that it will generate dialogue about our perceptions toward the economy. (Okay, my secret hope is that it might generate some money saving tips, too!)</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1134805483650153771.post-56084816044565792412014-08-16T11:45:00.006-05:002014-08-16T14:43:58.703-05:00If They Gunned Me Down<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rodney King.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Trayvon Martin.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Michael Brown.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These are only three of the notable racial conflicts that have occurred in my lifetime and my nation.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tornado-ing around these tragedies is the term 'White Privilege'.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't understand it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Much of it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Any of it, actually.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't understand why our society continues to give so much power to skin pigmentation-- something not one person here on earth had the power to choose.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not skin color, no more than ear-size or height or birth-name.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">White privilege.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">White privilege?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Perhaps my knowledge of this is limited because I'm not white-- I'm sort of a pinky-peach. Not translucent, contrary to a few sun-worshippers I know. Most of the people I know are not white, either, though there are are several shades of beige among them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of the most significant privileges bestowed upon me during my upbringing-- which is becoming more and more valuable with each emerging news report-- was in the form of rules, expectations, and traditional wisdom.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>1. Nothing good happens after a certain hour at night or in certain areas of town</b>. Nothing you want to be a part of, anyway. Have a plan, follow your plan, be mindful of your surroundings, and be polite.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>2. Signal your intentions.</b> Your clothing choices communicate your plans. Skin-color aside--no, skin-color <i>obscured</i>, as in <i>not visible whatsoever</i>-- I am more cautious and alert whenever someone is inappropriately dressed for the circumstances.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Person sprinting through the park in athletic apparel? <i>No problem.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Person sprinting through the park in a three-piece suit? <i>Problem.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back in the days of metal-detector morning duty while teaching eighth grade in Dallas, I saw what could be concealed in saggy pants and baggy hooded sweatshirts. Is it stereotypical to have an awareness of appearance, or is it a responsibility in self-protection? (PS-- have you ever seen this? This teen's pants are a veritable clown car of guns and weapons: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Epeo8Pfm1xM">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Epeo8Pfm1xM</a>)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>3. Watch your mouth.</b> (And your posture, too.) Your words and gestures carry the power to influence how others perceive you. Speak respectfully. Behave honorably. If you consistently make the effort to make good choices, you'll avoid being the star of scandalous photos, videos, and recordings.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's a trend on social media right now where people are posting contrasting pictures of themselves-- typically one casual photo (often involving rude gestures to the camera) and one formal photo (often involving an achievement accessory-- graduation cap and gown, diploma, sports trophy, or in a capacity of helpfulness with young children or the elderly) with a caption/hashtag of 'If they gunned me down'. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rhetorically, they ask:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Which photo would the media use if [they] were victims in a [supposedly] racially-motivated act of violence?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[You understand, of course, that I have to say</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">supposedly</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, because we weren't there, so we</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">can't </i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">know.]</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The attempt to illustrate a 'don't judge a book by its cover' message is weakened by the subject's flagrant flip-of-the-birds to the photographer and the vulgarity-laden tee-shirts bearing messages like 'What the F are you looking at?'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can't participate in this compare-and-contrast internet-sensation activity, because there are no photos of me dressed provocatively or behaving disrespectfully. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If they gunned me down, the media's photo choices would be both infinite and limited-- lots of photos of me exist, but I am usually dressed in unmemorable solid colors and doing something incredibly mundane. For this reason, even I have a hard time determining what year most of the photos were even taken.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I guess it's because I had the privilege of being raised to be mindful and responsible.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm still not sure how skin color factors into this, though. It seems pretty equal-opportunity to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you missed out on this 'privilege', it's not too late for you. Follow the same wisdom that my village expected from me, and the odds of you getting tangled up in one of these tragedies will reduce significantly. You don't have to be white (or pinky-peach) to have the privilege of following a code of honorable living punctuated by common sense.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihHzTGrZKJ9gwGWUq5-9Vs_4aSX9bLK_5MhMdWwjtWxeSCj1-2hOlDIAsqxsDb30R1pXMT8k_MOWAg1tv0c0w4rZmIXForNL_2RthIALT4vYJt0nKkf08hEKPAQZQZ0t_nnOWngwirRUll/s1600/Screenshot_2014-08-16-14-14-06-1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihHzTGrZKJ9gwGWUq5-9Vs_4aSX9bLK_5MhMdWwjtWxeSCj1-2hOlDIAsqxsDb30R1pXMT8k_MOWAg1tv0c0w4rZmIXForNL_2RthIALT4vYJt0nKkf08hEKPAQZQZ0t_nnOWngwirRUll/s1600/Screenshot_2014-08-16-14-14-06-1.png" height="400" width="235" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Compounding Tragedy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkD5XweG28y11PVlND2B6cEBP1diAMpHmLCbFg-10ff0o3fuS-ya5tjN7mMEt47KlwGdnIBY-MYE3impC0Z7pKnr1MYNetdCe5uEC4_5wv-HYKO8XA6WVazG-_z0Gv1slf2bgcp9oY5TPI/s1600/Screenshot_2014-08-16-14-14-19-1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkD5XweG28y11PVlND2B6cEBP1diAMpHmLCbFg-10ff0o3fuS-ya5tjN7mMEt47KlwGdnIBY-MYE3impC0Z7pKnr1MYNetdCe5uEC4_5wv-HYKO8XA6WVazG-_z0Gv1slf2bgcp9oY5TPI/s1600/Screenshot_2014-08-16-14-14-19-1.png" height="400" width="235" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Exponential Tragedy</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7guf8pP1g7vLoL_MFjfh-U4F54PdgcO5Hm8_uIwspDFrtVF09CldFEtoglLLhHW6f5uv5Ei_CzdnBqy_LZbj7uzue94Drq565Q145nImda3vEKjhXr2ijWUBn9jFF0_GhuJVk69Cz2bK1/s1600/Screenshot_2014-08-16-14-14-37-1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7guf8pP1g7vLoL_MFjfh-U4F54PdgcO5Hm8_uIwspDFrtVF09CldFEtoglLLhHW6f5uv5Ei_CzdnBqy_LZbj7uzue94Drq565Q145nImda3vEKjhXr2ijWUBn9jFF0_GhuJVk69Cz2bK1/s1600/Screenshot_2014-08-16-14-14-37-1.png" height="400" width="233" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Exploitation of Tragedy</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>This doesn't feel like community and collaboration toward compassion, awareness, and growth. This doesn't feel like healing. This feels like ripping open the stitches of the wound and grinding in bitter germs of hate, vengeance, and fear. They call it viral, but I call it bacterial. It's an infection, all right. There's a cure, but it's not this.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Man, our media sure has an odd way of honoring the deceased.</i></span><br />
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