Ice Custard Happiness

RITA’S , the sign screams.
It's written in big, bold, GREEN bubble letters.

Beneath it, and in fine print, are the words Ice Custard Happiness.

Apparently they do not serve alcohol. The name is a bit misleading, don’t you think?

I have sincere skepticism about the ability of frozen custard—or any custard, or anything frozen—to rival the happiness that is brought upon by adult beverages.

Ergo, I have no plans to ever be happy at their establishment.