I know that someday you'll find better things.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

God and Other Unmentionables

Ever since the Ark Incident of 2013, I've been a little mum's-the-word about Our Heavenly Father. However, our new livin'-on-a-prayer lifestyle will require a serious increase in our spirituality.

There was no casual, nonchalant way to broach the subject, so a few days ago, I chose to utilize the Out of the Blue Method that Mia herself is ever so fond of.

"So, um, hey... what do you know about God?" I asked her.
"Well... He lives... above us... and actually, there's several of Him..."

Holy Trinity, Batman! 
My child is a religious prodigy. I'm not a failure. We're not doomed!

"... Zeus, he's the main one... but there are lots more..." she said.

My time aboard cloud nine ended abruptly. She continued listing notable nobility from Greek mythology while I tried to regain my composure. It was hard not to picture both of our souls careening toward an afterlife in the hot place down under.

"No, not Australia, although from what I've heard, it's debatable. Mia," I said, mustering all my chutzpah, "it's time for The Talk."

After about twenty uncomfortable minutes of me reciting as much as I could remember from the Bible, Mia said, "You know what all this reminds me of? Those Veggie Tales shows."

I was saved.

We've been watching several episodes each night ever since. We're also going to be finding a church. Possibly several churches. Enough to undo the damage from our recent discussion and alllllll the years of silence, but not so many that we become zealots, because as I recall mentioning several times during The Talk, 'God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.'

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