I know that someday you'll find better things.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Dinner Plans

When you see what I plan to serve my family for dinner for the next three days, you are either going to be very impressed with how far I've come in the "letting go" department or absolutely appalled at just how low my standards have dropped.

If you are a purist or affiliated with Child Protective Services in any capacity, I recommend that you sit this one out. You are about to witness things that you'll never be able to un-see.

To heck with sodium and preservatives; it's going to be a busy week, I can sense it. 

Desperate times, folks.

For example, Mia has a dentist appointment tomorrow afternoon, which means that most of my morning will be consumed by thinking don't forget about the dentist, don't forget about the dentist, don't forget about the dentist and by repeatedly doing the "math" of what time I will need to retrieve her from school. 

There's other stuff going on, too, I just can't remember what it is right now. And probably I won't remember, at least until we're past the dentist appointment so there's room in my brain for something new to remember (or forget).

So brace yourself, because this menu is a real doozy and not for the faint of heart or blood pressure.

Since some of the readers are on similar shoestring budgets, I will list the cost of each meal, too. And I do use the term "meal" loosely. Everything was purchased at Walmart. Things could have been done cheaper. Things could have been done with coupons. Things certainly could have been done more healthfully.

But they weren't, not this time.

Monday: Indoor Picnic
-Really big sandwiches (grinders, hoagies, heroes, subs--whatever you call them) pre-made from the deli--$5.98 for the giant one, $5.48 for the foot-long.
-Potato salad, pre-made from the deli, $2.98
-Mixed-vegetables, frozen (well, we won't eat them frozen, of course) $1.08
Total cost: $15.52
Bonus: There will totally be leftovers. Tomorrow's school lunches are practically made!

Tuesday: Breakfast for Dinner
-Blueberry pancakes and/or maple pancakes, premade from the freezer section. The label says things like "natural" and "preservative-free" but really, who knows? More importantly, who cares? Not me, at least not this week. 24 pancakes for $3.50, so I purchased two bags of 'em.
-Breakfast sausage links. Usually I go with the turkey variety, not because I'll eat them but mostly because they are less gross to cook, at least in my mind. I don't know what's going on in the turkey market, but I am NOT paying $6.98 for one package. I went with the Johnsonville pork variety, $3.24.
-Hashbrown patties (freezer aisle). Not happy about turning on the oven now that the outdoor temp is on the rise, but I'll get over it for the sake of convenience. $1.88
-Strawberries, fresh. 2 lbs for $3.00. Not too shabby.
Total cost: $15.12
Bonus: There's no way that Russ and the kids will consume 48 pancakes, right? Maybe I can squeak another meal out of this.

Wednesday: International Night
-Beef Lo Mein (freezer aisle-- Birdseye) "family size" $6.76
-Sweet and Sour Chicken (freezer aisle-- Birdseye. It seems to include rice and vegetables) "family size" $6.76
-Broccoli, frozen-- $1.08
-And, because for reasons unknown, Chinese food always always makes me ill, an Amy's single-serve gluten-free, dairy-free, meat-free tofu pad thai meal, $3.48.
Total cost: $18.08
Bonus: I'm not sure if a bonus exists for this meal. Um... it's cheaper than a restaurant?

Is frozen Chinese food good or gross? 
Who knows? Who cares? Not me! 

Will the kids like it? They don't have to. 
That is one battle we absolutely do not have. 

The official family policy is as follows:
The good news is you don't have to eat it.
The bad news is you won't get dessert.

Will they survive this mega mommy-lapse? 
Let's hope so.

Bonus: I'm predicting that their daily water consumption will quadruple with the amount of salt they're about to consume.

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