Buzzfeed was promoting ‘37
Deep Cleaning Tricks Every Obsessive Clean Freak Should Know’. How could I not
investigate?
Here’s the original link.
You can read it first, and check back for the ‘dirt’, or you can start here and
see their pictures later.
Some were old faithfuls.
Some were intriguing.
Some were weird.
Some were just plain
upsetting.
Here we go!
1. Hang your brooms and mops instead of storing them on
the floor.
Duh.
2. Use slow cooker liners.
Yes, cleaning the crock can be frustrating, but liners
seem wasteful—environmentally AND financially.
3. Make the steel plate on your iron smooth and shiny
again. (There’s a link—whatever this is
involves salt.)
I try to avoid the iron, and
I achieve this by avoiding owning things that need to be ironed. Ironing is so
aggravating. So pointless. The moment you buckle your seatbelt, all your hard
work is eliminated. Instantly. Ironing is an obsessive’s nemesis. It almost
makes you appreciate linen for its straight-forward defiance—you can’t even
stand still without wrinkling linen. I’m getting stressed out just thinking
about this. Let’s move on to the next topic, shall we?
4. Remove any carpet stain (and anything off a mattress
as well).
Dawn, hydrogen peroxide, and
baking soda are the ingredients of their secret potion here. When it comes to
carpeting, Folex is my go-to stain solution. Recently I saw this same
combination being touted as a clothing stain remover, so I decided to put it to
the test. I’d just found one of Mia’s baby bibs from what feels like a million
years ago. Hidden beneath the carrot-puree stains was an embroidered ‘Mommy’s
Little Girl’. Awwww! The stain had been setting in for SEVEN years. Could it be
saved? YES. This miracle combo, applied with a toothbrush, removed 95% of the
stains. AMAZING.
5. Use an iron to remove REALLY stubborn stains from
carpet.
I’ve tried this in the removal of candle wax. It
worked. Took a while, though.
6. Use Pledge to really clean
your stainless steel.
The picture from the website looks nice. Or shiny, at
least. This just doesn’t sit well with me, though. Wouldn’t it be
slippery/oily? I wonder if it does any long-term damage.
7. Invest in a “Purifying Light Sanitizing Cutting Board
System.”
This exists?! If it does what it says it does, I must
have one. Soon.
8. Clean your clean machine: the washer.
I’ve heard that those new-fangled front-loaders are
notoriously stinky if not cleaned routinely. We have a traditional model, so I
haven’t really worried about this. Too much, anyway. Other than the occasional
Clorox wipe inside and out, of course.
9. Use a dish scrubber filled with dish soap to clean the
gunk off your cabinets.
And then rinse that sticky soap off with… ?
10. To kill the germs and viruses that have gathered on
your nasty sponges, microwave on high for 2
minutes and let cool.
This is not the first time I’ve heard this. I’ve also
heard it’s hokum. I say sponges are for suckers. Clorox wipes take the germs to
their trashy graves.
11. Use a few
drops of water, cream of tartar, and a sponge to get your stainless steel appliances
looking brand new again.
I’ve tried cream of tartar as a cleaning agent, although I can’t
remember why. Wasn’t particularly impressed, either.
12. Clean your sink drain.
Are there people who don’t?! Is this truly a trait of
the tried-and-true obsessives? Yikes. Thank goodness I don’t get out much.
13. Clean your window tracks.
They say cotton swab and vinegar, I say duh.
.
14. Refresh your mattress.
Nothing can be offered here that can erase the
memories of those mattress commercials that talk about how a mattress gains X
amount of pounds after X amount of years from accumulated body soil and sweat.
Forget trying to ‘refresh your mattress’. Buy a new one, stat. I know a place
if you want a good deal on a mail-order generic tempur pedic. We’ve had ours
for almost four years now. I can’t even imagine how much weight it has
gained--guess it’s time to order a new one…
15. Keep baseboards clean with fabric softener.
Tried it once. Can’t remember the outcome, so I guess it
wasn’t impressive. I’ll stick to vacuuming them with the attachment every other
day, thanks.
16. Dust first, then vacuum.
Who wouldn’t?! And while you’re at it, put on your
underpants before you pull on your jeans.
17. Clean your candles with pantyhose.
I would probably give this a try if I had candles. Or
pantyhose.
18. Unscrew light bulbs and wipe off with a microfiber
cloth.
Okay, but I’ve
had good luck with regular old dusting cloths. (And Clorox wipes, of course.)
19. Rub a faucet with waxed paper to prevent water spots
and finger prints.
So you’re applying a coat of wax to the faucet then? I don’t
know how I feel about this. I do know that one of the two times my grandpa
yelled at me was the time that Justin and I wax-papered my grandparents’
beautiful wooden staircase so that we could zoom down faster on our rear ends.
This was a technique I learned from my mother, might I add. Granted, we were at
Roseland Park at the time. On a side note, playgrounds don’t have metal slides
anymore.
20. Snip off a slice of a Magic Eraser and drop it in the
toilet. Let it float overnight and it’ll remove any toilet ring. No scrubbing!
No one wants to be touching toilet germs, not even with gloves on.
Of all the tips, this one bothers me the most. The tip
fails to address all the other parts of the toilet which must be routinely
cleaned. Magic Erasers are not cheap, and they practically disintegrate upon
contact with water. There’s no way it would last long enough to do anything
truly beneficial, and if for some reason it DID make it through the night, what
the heck are you supposed to do with it in the morning? Flush it down? That
doesn’t seem prudent, either…
21. Use Resolve to get your grout back to white.
Had to try this right away. Results were only
moderately impressive. Better than the peroxide-dawn-baking soda mixture
(leftovers from the extremely successful carrot stain baby bib experiment) but
not nearly as great as oxi-clean experiment or even/especially today’s
bleach/baking soda combo. Now THAT was impressive.
22. Keep a Scotch Brite dishwand in the shower filled with
1/2 vinegar, 1/2 dishwashing detergent.
Genius! I feel somewhat silly that something this
obvious has eluded me for this long. Dishwashing detergent seems like it could
build residue, though. Maybe I will start with just vinegar…
23. Deep clean your water bottles if they’ve started to
smell a little moldy.
Yes.
24. Clean your hairbrushes if you really want a good hair
day.
The picture accompanying this tip is horrifying. I don’t
own a round brush, but if I did, I can assure you that I would clean it LONG
before it reached that state.
25. Clean old paintings with a bagel cut in half.
Seems like a waste of a bagel, which would be a shame if you like those sorts
of things. Furthermore, it’s so wacky that either (a) they’re messing with us,
or (b) it’s so crazy, it just might work.
So maybe someday I’ll try it.
With an old bagel.
At a Goodwill.
26. Clean blinds with an old sock.
The old standby. If a blog or buzzfeed tip list tries
to seduce you into dipping your blinds into Murphy’s Oil (diluted) in your
bathtub, DON’T. Stick with the sock method. Or a Clorox wipe.
27. While cleaning the bathroom, fill the tub up with a
couple of inches of the hottest water you can draw from the tap.
I’ll keep you posted, but I don’t have high hopes.
28. Cut a hole in a cloth napkin to make dust covers for
coats and vests.
This doesn’t sit well with me, but I don’t know why.
29. Use foil in your George Foreman grill or panini maker
to prevent mess.
Doesn’t this defeat the purpose of George’s “let the
fat drain off” concept?
30. Use WD-40 to erase scuff marks on floors.
I guess. Or lighter fluid, brake fluid, old sunscreen…
31. Pour a packet of lemonade Kool-Aid into the detergent
cup of your dishwasher to remove lime deposits
and irons stains.
We don’t have those here.
32. Start cleaning out your dryer vents.
Start?! If you’re alive to read this, you’ve probably
already made this task a routine.
33. Behold, the sanitizing vacuum cleaner.
Intriguing. But does it work?
34. Use a solution of 1/2 coconut oil and 1/2 baking soda
to remove sticky residues.
Or lighter fluid, brake fluid, expired sunscreen (or WD-40,
apparently!) Save the coconut oil for winter eczema—sure can’t use lighter
fluid for that!
35. Wax your vents with car wax to keep the dust off all
year.
Hmm… this looks promising. I’ll let you know!
36. Know your uses for vinegar and natural cleaning
agents.
Long-time lover, lifetime fan. If I could only take one
thing with me to a deserted island, it would definitely be vinegar.
37. The ultimate organization tip: anything and everything
should have a place.
And category and a label, obviously.
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