Wu Wei

Wait until you see what Mia brought home from her dad's house the other day. 

"I won it at a Christmas party!" she announced joyfully. "Isn't it awesome?"

I could barely mask my disdain for the hideous, huge creature being shoved toward me.

"You know, I think I remember you saying just the other day that you already had too many stuffed animals. Why," I asked, "aren't you going to have that...um.... that..."

"Lizard," she interrupted.

"Lizard," I repeated, "live at your dad's house?"

"Because, Mom. It just doesn't go with the flow over there. So we're going to keep it here!"

We?

Do you have a mouse in your pocket?

More importantly, have you seen my flow?

Here is my flow:

My spice rack is alphabetized. Don't hate.

Everyone categorizes their medicine cabinet, right?

I could go on, but you get the idea, don't you?

In Benjamin Hoff's book The Tao of Pooh, an entire chapter is devoted to the idea of wu wei, also known as 'going with the flow'.

I spent most of the day trying, but I just don't think I can find the wu wei in this situation.

Use the soup can for size reference. This thing is freakin' huge.

Go with the flow? I think... NO.

No wu wei here, either.
Sorry, buddy, but you've got to go.

I'm sending this thing back with her next weekend, and if this... lizard...returns, I will have to deliver shock-and-awe caliber retaliation. Yup. Stickers and temporary tattoos by the dozen.

Don't think for one second that I'm joking.

I've done it before.