Lucky

Don't stand too close to me or you might just win the lottery. I'm positively oozing with luck.

Yesterday I had the grand privilege of doing yard work.

Only someone who is very, very lucky has an opportunity to maintain her own lawn.

After all, someone must have time to do such a magnificent task. Most of the people in our neighborhood are not as lucky as I am. They don't have the luxury of time, so they are stuck hiring landscaping companies to do the work for them.

Poor things.

At some point in the last few weeks, the warm weather brought out the buds on the trees and the last of the fall's leaves finally dropped. 

That was my signal that it was finally safe to take action.

Rain was in the forecast, but if my luck held steady, I could take care of my business before the sky fell.

The dark clouds kept the temperature from getting too hot. Luck!

A pleasant pre-storm breeze cooled me like a fan. Double luck!

The leaves were not as lucky as I; the breeze was not kind to them at all. The neat piles I'd raked scattered with each gust.

Poor things.

I tried not to let it frustrate me. There are people in parts of the world that are not as lucky as I am. They don't have lawns or trees.

Poor things.

My neighbors, too, were not as lucky as I; almost all the leaves from my lawn blew onto their beautifully manicured lawns, despite my incredibly valiant attempts to prevent that from happening.

Feeling appalled, embarrassed, and guilty, I willed the leaves to stop blowing away while frantically trying to corral them into the over-sized brown paper sack of a yard bag.

Stay put, I telegraphed.
"Stay put," I whispered.
"Stay put!" I begged aloud, but the leaves did not obey.

"STAY PUT, YOU STUPID FREAKING LEAVES!" I shouted.

By now I was certain that luck was on my side: the wind drowned out most of my yelling, and anyone interacting with nearby lawns didn't speak English anyway.

In a fit of futile guilt-propelled effort, I chased the leaves up and down the street, mentally composing apology notes to the owners of every home I passed. Luckily, there wasn't much to say.

I've heard that lottery winners lives often take a turn for the worse following their windfalls, and this does not surprise me whatsoever. 

It seems that being lucky can be its own curse.